Best Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

  • Name: Rodney Dangerfield;
  • Occupation: Comedian;
  • Date of birth: November 22, 1921;
  • Date of death: October 5, 2004;
  • Zodiac: Sagittarius;

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Family

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Family

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Night

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Funny

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

Home

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Home

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Sports

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

Marriage

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

Marriage

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

Marriage

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

Phone

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

Kissing

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Dogs

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Pet

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

Boyfriend

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